Only in Oakland...

Only in Oakland are crackheads actively recruited as part of your local neighborhood watch.
Only in Oakland do you get hit on regularly by Asian guys.
Only in Oakland will you see two guys drunk in a tree debating politics.
Only in Oakland can you walk to work and see a magnificent lake and a magnificent pile of puke all within the same 40 minutes.
Only in Oakland do you see a crew of ducks led by one bad ass white duck with a fro and black and purple spots.
Only in Oakland can you get hit on by a drunk midget on a scooter.
Only in Oakland can you tell off your boss and not get fired.
Only in Oakland will you not get mocked for loving a football team that sucks harder than Jenna Jamison.
Only in Oakland can you start a riot just to steal shoes and weed
Only in Oakland can you run reds, speed, talk on your cell phone and race your car in front of a cop and not get pulled over.
Only in Oakland will a robber be thoughtful enough to lock up your car and roll up your windows after he steals your IPOD.
Only in Oakland can you truly escape into the present.

Where does your greatness lie?

Lately, I've been feeling this insatiable need to do something FANTASTIC, DIFFERENT, GREAT...but where do I get it? What do I do? and how do I do it? Where do people like Frida Kahlo, Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking get it.

I wonder if most people go through life wondering where there greatness lies? We are all in fact great. We are all divine. At least, thats what I have read. I guess true greatness can only manifest itself through our passion and our passion comes from our talent. The trick is to find your talent ....hmm I guess that is where I get stuck. I don't know what I am truly good at. I have such a short attention span. I haven't stuck with anything long enough to see if I'm truly good at it.

I guess I love to live and to experience new things. I'm talented at that. I have a passion for that. So does that make me great?...Last time I checked they weren't making movies about crazy little loud mouthed Mexican girls that get in a lot of trouble and manage to come out clean.

I think you have to be destined for it. People are put in your path to help you and encourage you and inspire you to be great. For example, Sean Parker was just put on Mark Zuckerberg's path. It seems to much like fate. I dunno, I'm just rambling, rumbling, thinking will I be great, can I be great, what am I destined for. Because I thnk, I feel Im destined for something GREAT. It's just waiting to be awaken within....Maybe we all are.

Please tell my heart.....

My mind knows that death is a part of life...but my heart doesn't.
My mind says that it is only a transition and I will see her again....my heart says please don't go.
My mind says that if the inevitable happens we will all go on and be ok....my heart will be broken forever.
My mind says that I have to be strong....my heart aches every time I look in her face.
My mind says she will be ok...my heart studies her face for traces of death.
My mind says show no fear...my heart is scared.

Please tell my heart what my mind already knows, Please tell it, Scream it, Inbed it, For everytime I look in her eyes my heart sees the sadness and the fear and it cries in silence, It screams, It thinks the mind lies. How will I ever convince my heart that it will all be ok? How will I ever go back and feel the same? When will my heart catch up with my mind. When will my heart be kind?

I ask her this, my sister, my soulmate, my heart, what will I do? Who will love me like you?, and she says, very simply,"Tell your heart it will be ok, tell it over and over again, tell it and tell it until it believes it is true, tell it that no matter where I am I will always love you, Love never dies and you will carry me there,In your heart, for your heart is my heart and we will never part, this is whats true."

DO YOU!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=431GYmUbldg

Now that I have decided to stop dating and all the pesky penis distractions are through, I can follow my passion 100percent. I fed a baby yesterday, about 30 seconds in I took a phone call. The bottle fell out of the babies mouth and the mom came back to snatch it away from me. Later that day I walked away from a good relationship. Same guy once told me I was good at dating but bad at relationships. I agree, and because I have decided that men and babies are not in my future, I can follow my passion 110 percent without any pesky distractions.

Being alone is freeing, when your dating the wrong guy your always worried about how your going to break his heart, and when your dating the right guy your always worried about how he is going to break yours. Better alone and stress free!

Im Sorry I can't, Don't Hate Me

Breaking up is hard, and believe it or not, being the dumper is harder than being the dumpee.

When you get dumped, your allowed to hate the other person, call them names, wish them the worst, plot their horribly painful death. Hmmmm, never realized how spiteful I am...I mean when your the dumpee you get to send the loser love and light and thank God for the divine intervention.Better:).

Now, when you have to dump someone, thats tough. Very tough. Not only because you suddenly become the receiver of the wrath of a man scorned, but you genuinely feel bad when you couldn't bring yourself to love the person who offered you the world on a silver platter. I guess if I could just love the guys who kissed my ass my life wouldn't be so complicated.Instead, I hurt these men and leave them broken hearted... merr:(.

I admire and pity the people who see someones good qualities, despite the fact that they are not physically attracted to the other person. They see the potential, stick it out and let the feelings develop and grow. Not me, I physically can't. It pains me to sit through conversations and dinner across from people who make me want to do anything else but kiss them. "How do these people do it?", I wonder,Is the drive for a mate so strong that they "settle". Well, I would rather be alone than not be with someone who gives me butterflies when I see them. Someone who makes me smile by just sitting there, someone who makes me want to kiss them all day.

I stay single in the hope, that one day I will meet the person who makes me feel like this and who I make feel like this in return. The guy who gives me flowers and I don't automatically feel like throwing them in his face cause I think he's being cheesey,complaining about the color, the amnt, the type. One Day.

All I know, is I won't settle because, I'm a certain age and I should. I feel 5 again. When I'm on a "perfect" date, all i'm thinking is,"I don't want this! I don't want this! I don't want this!....Sometimes I think somethings wrong with me. Why don't I want what everyone wants? Why do I throw the "list" guys away...You know the list you made right after you saw the secret.The list that specifies all the qualities your dreamboat will posess. The secret works I've been dating list guy after list guy and I DONT WANT THEM!...Again I dunnno.

I just ask that you forgive me and at least appreciate my honesty, because really, you were PERFECT, just not perfect for me.

Ive learned something this last year, about love. Love isn't a list. It isn't a set of qualities. It isn't the amount in a bank. It isn't kissing someones butt. It isn't the right clothes or smell. It just is or it isn't, like a force of nature,You just feel it or you don't. Also, even more interesting, you can love someone who doesnt feel the same thing in return. Love is magical and scary and I won't settle for anything less than the butterflies;) And you shouldn't settle for someone who doesn't feel them in return. Never try to make someone Love You.For men, Its a waste of money and for women, a waste of time. Most important lesson Ive learned in the last 6 months.

Bestest Besties...Diary of a BFF whore:)

My sisters best friend once said, "If Jeannette ever murders anyone I will be scolding her and telling her how wrong she was as Im driving her to the border to freedom"

Now that is a best friend!...Someone who can tell you, that you are wrong while still encouraging you and supporting you. I recently had someone claim to be my best friend in one sentence and in the other do everything in their power to hurt my feelings. I put up with this for a couple of months in an effort to be a forgiving and understanding bestie.

The day finally came when this person hit so low that I could forgive but not forget. When someone hurts you intentionally there is nothing they could ever say to erase the putrid feeling that they caused in the moment they spewed their vicious words.

I feel sorry for people who spew hate in moments of anger and expect others to forgive them just as quickly. Its like someone famous once said, "people will forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel." That is the key. Whether you meant what you said or not, whether you were sorry or not, the imprint of your words does not fade as fast as your anger.

I hope that by witholding my friendship towards this person they learn to treat those they love with more respect. Choose their words wisely and think twice before they decide to be hurtful. I hope in the end what I did benefits my once bestie for the better even if she continues to spread lies out of anger it doesn't bother me.

The good news is, that like beyonce says "for every person that hates me there are 100 more that love me and I love them"...My experience with the defective bestie made me appreciate those men and women who do deserve the title of bestie, who have earned my love and respect and who I try to tell everyday!

To All my Besties with LOVE!...I may not tell you everyday but I carry all of you in my heart!

Sky Diving is like Dying.

Ok, so the day that I woke up to go sky diving I was soooo nervous. The thought of jumping out of a plane sent me to the bathroom three times and kept my hands extremely moist throughout the day. I even thought of backing out for a split second. Then, I realized if I didn't do it I would always regret it. So I made a decision. I would do what I always do during difficult or stressful times, I wouldn't think about it.

I decided to just get dressed, then I just went to the store to get champagne, after that I was just driving. My whole day continued like this. Just a series of extraordinary moments and everytime I would get the thought of impending doom I would just focus back on the present.

Ok, now back to my original point. How is this like death? Well, everyone of us knows we are going to die but we don't think about it. Then, the day finally comes when death is at the door. We know its close. Again, the "thought" of it could send us to the bathroom lk 20 times and keep 100 peoples hands moist for 20 years. With sky diving your thinking "what if the shoot doesn't open?, what if the clips that are holding me to the guy with the shoot snap, what if it hurts???"...When a person is close to death, they think, "what if it hurts, will my family be ok, Im not ready..."

Ok, so now it's time to jump out of the plane, how did you get 13,000 feet in front of an open door? Easy, you just kept putting one foot in front of the other. When the moment finally comes, I swear to you, you don't even remember jumping. You are just free, at peace, filled with happines,exhilaration, adrenaline, calm. I imagine this is what dying is like.

With sky diving there is a strong attachment to the ground, and in death there is a strong attachment to the living. In both cases, if you can release the attachments you open yourself up for an amazing opportunithy for growth and change.

One day you just die. Will you be the person who fought anxiously every step of the way? Or will you just suck it up, enjoy the present, plant one foot confidently in front of the other, jump and enjoy the ride? I hope that like in skydiving when the time comes for me to go I can just jump with my eyes and heart wide open knowing I enjoyed every moment, kiss, touch, sound, hug and tear.

-to my mama bear who has taught me how to LIVE...and who makes every hug the best;)