Revolutionary Road

I have never identified with a character more than I identify with April from "Revolutionary Road". April, is a young woman with big dreams. An aspiring actress who's ambitions fall short.She ends up settling into an average life. After settling, she feels empty and incomplete. The monotony of her everyday American existence peels away at her spirit. In an attempt to save her sanity she convinces her husband to move to Paris so they can lead a richer, fuller, and most importantly, less average life. He agrees and she is ECSTATIC.

After a series of unfortunate events squash the couples hopes of relocating, April falls into a hopless depression. I won't spoil the movie for anyone who wants to see it but April's fate aint good:(.

This movie, and April's characer in particular, spoke to my soul. It made me look deep and see where my own personal feelings of hoplessness lie and what I can do to change them. I have come to realize that I do things to fit some sort of ideal and it's not healthy. It eats away at me everyday that I do it, and why? what for? Because society, my parents, my friends expect it from me. Iv'e decided that from now on I will not do whats expected of me, because even when I do that not everyones happy. I will live my life for me and no one else. If my parents and family think I'm a loser, oh well, EFF them, they aint payin for my therapy!

In life, going off the reservation is scary and dangerous but it is ESSENTIAL, for some, not all.It's funny because as children we are brainwashed to believe that if we do not hit certain milestones, lk marriage and family we are inadequate, old maids, eccentrics losers. We are conditioned to think less of those incredibly brave people who decide not to marry the wrong person or to buy the house just to be tied to a job that they hate to maintain it. Many people are perfectly fine working from 9-5, coming home, feeding the kiddies, just to feel normal and fufilled, but not me. I want more, I need more. I will literally die inside if I don't get it.

So here it is, my wish list,
I never want to settle again!
I want to travel to every nook and cranny on this planet and get paid for it.
I want to drink a beer and read a good book on my own private balcony in spain
I want to pet a dolphin.
I want to help really really poor people
I want to be more patient and not let the little things get to me
I want to listen to myself, and not let myself be influenced by outside sources
I want to be healthy and good to my body
I want to exercise everyday
I want to love and be loved deeply and fully
I want a partner in crime who is smart, passionate, fun, patient, hot and eager in the sack, and most importantly loves the crap out of me and isn't afraid to show IT!:)
I want to learn something new everyday for the rest of my life
I want to go to a world cup
I want to live in another country for at least six months
I want friends on every continent
I want to laugh so hard I pee
I want to make a president laugh and blush all at the same time
I want to stand in the middle of a hurricane
I want to go to afghanistan
I want to make my parents proud on my terms
I want to stay in an ASHRAM in India for at least a month
I want to have a truly religious experience
I want to spoil my nieces and nephews
I want to be able to put my parents in a damn good home, KIDDING, it doesnt have to be damn good, ok will do:)
I want to visit my relatives more
I want it all and not be afraid to go out and get it
I want to listen to my heart everytime w/ no fear
I want to say. "Fear, eff you I'm gonna live!
I want to live free or die hard trying!

the last 365 days I learned.....

Money isn't everything
When you have control over yourself you can do anything
You have to stay true to yourself and your words
Friends and Family are any one persons greatest assets
Babies are still overrated
Cazadores will get you into trouble EVERY TIME,,,but its always worth it:)
Dont let your ego get the best of you.
Patience Patience Patience