Love For Sale

The past three days I've watched a LOT O TV, (not really proud o this but sometimes you just need to veg) and movies and a prominent theme prevails,LOVE. From Sex and the City to 2012 to the Santa Clause. Every single movie, special or sitcom is centered around the power of love. Not just ordinary love, it's mountain moving, life changing, can't live without you love and after watching your like "what the heck?" how come that shit never happens to me. It always seems to happen for other people, but what about me? Where's my prince? Where's my poor black kid from the projects? Where's my Mr. Big?

All I seem to be surrounded by is exes with new GF's who want to take ME away for a romantic wknd(I said no!)? disgruntled supervisors, macho men, narrow minded men, emotionally unavailable men, married men(Again NO!), short buses and a little brother who couldn't wait to see me so that I could give him $60 bux for some video game crap. Is my movie Love hiding or does it simply just not exist? Did the movie industry invent it to make money? Are we all just waiting to be swept off our feet in vain?....

I hope not, I hope it exists, Im gonna be patient and hold out for it. I have been lucky enough to catch a rare glimpse of this elusive power. My parents, some close friends and others have been smart,privliged and lucky enough to have been bestowed. I hope I'm worthy. I know iv'e broken my share of hearts but ive learned,, Ive been better I thnk I've had my share of losers too and know that karmicaly my debts should be paid. Now it's all about being patient and loving myself.

Funny Things I heard and Said today

Me-"mom u think Israel(my lil bro) still virgin.
Mom-"Mija I dnt want to talk about such things...but he probably is because he has the benefit of releasing himself."
Me-..What did you say?

Psychos and the people who love them...

R both crazy!:)

Sweet and Sour Sex

Getting spanked during sex is like eating sweet and sour pork, the sour sting of the spank compliments the sweet tingling in the nether regions, thats why when spanking or getting spanked its best to do it hard so as to create a greater, stronger sweet and sour effect:)...just some food for thought;)

If you let the past dictate your present then you single handedly FUCK your future

I had a friend who was fun open minded smart and cool but after 6 short months of friendship I dumped her or she dumped me but I caused it. Why would I dump such a cool person? 4 words...she was a downer!...

********Insensitivity Disclaimer***************
When my friend was a young girl she was molested by a relative,tragic I know, and I had no problem listening to her sob story but after weeks and weeks of the same old story I grew weary. She blamed her 250pds on him, she blamed her innability to do well in school on him, she blamed him when she stayed home night after night feeling sorry for herself and stuffing her face. Everything that went wrong in her life was his fault. I eventually told her she needed to get over it and she "dumped me" which was fine by me.

I wasn't marginalizing her feelings when I uttered these words I was just trying to get her to see that 12years later the person she blamed for her distress was dead and buried and she was still letting him win. She was letting him dictate her future.

It boggles my mind to see people let past relationships,experiences, moments,events affect how they live. People are walking around avoiding life and love because of something or someone in the past. What makes me laugh is that the people and experiences that hurt you/us are long gone, married, having kids experiecing joy LIVING their lives and some of us remain stagnant because of them. We are blinded to new joys,realities,relationships and opportunities.

When you let fear dictate how much you love, live or do then you've let the past win, you let the antagonist antagonize you forever.

People with baggage eventually drown if they don't let go. They drown in fat, booze, drugs, sadness and despair.The sad thing is that some of these amazingly beautiful and talented people drown alone they never let anyone in, they become empty shells. When you attach yourself to someone with baggage its best to detach and let them fix themselves for fear of being dragged down with them.

Smart people learn from their mistakes, Wise people learn from other peoples mistakes. I choose to learn from this friend and "DANCE".I wont live in fear of getting hurt, rejected, of failing,
I will still give 110 percent to love life and happiness, I will still dream and hope, I refuse to grow old and synical, I refuse to let a couple of bad seeds, bad decisions, bad relationships, or tragedies keep me from loving and living.I choose to learn from them instead. Life is not about playing it safe. GO BIG OR GO HOME!

If Martin Luther King, Harvey Milk and JFK would have been afraid of assasination then where would we be?
If Romeo would have stayed away from Juliet from fear of her family then what?
If Oprah had stayed away from the camera for fear of being ridiculed about her weight she'd still be somewhere in Georgia sellin chitlins!

When you dream big you get big :)

Im happy when...

I feel sexy
when I'm somewhere new
when I'm belly dancing
when I'm on a plane
when I'm with my family
when I get flowers just because.
when I'm surprised.
when I can help someone who really needs it.
when I am loved
when I am free
when I am with friends
when I AM

San Jose is...

safe
warm
organized
family
technology
peaceful
innovative
sleepy
culture
chips
highways
byways
comforting
familiar

Oakland is...

a drunk black midget on a scooter asking for your number
old
humble
chinese women going to the market with their visors and surgical masks
diverse
breeezy
open minded
colorful
beautiful
full of life
energy
fear
violence
optimism
hope

LA

LA is plastic
sunny
dirty
insecure
fake
an illusion
a dream
a fantasy
a blonde w/ fake tits
a pretentious party
immigrants
poor
humble
beautiful
exciting
gay
oversexed
hyper
smart
innovative
stylish
smoggy
bipolar
stagnant
anxious
eager
a gamble
a seducer
eve
jealous of NY:)

There is something unnatural about....

There is something unnatural about a generation of women who feel they have to pull poke and stuff themselves with silicone to be beautiful.
There is something unnatural about a generation of men who feel this is ideal.
There is something unnatural about a society who looks outside to be happy.
There is something unnatural about rules.
There is something unnatural about people being afraid of love.
There is something unnatural about sitting in an office 8 hrs a day.
There is something unnatural about someone else buying your time.
There is something unnatural about thinking that you NEED money to make you happy or complete.
There is something unnatural about thinking that you are better than anyone else.
There is something unnatural about wanting to be better than someone else.
There is something unnatural about sitting in a classroom eight hours a day.
There is something unnatural about pretending to not be interested in someone so that they will like you more.
There is something unnatural about a television set raising your children.
There is something unnatural about love turning you off.
There is something unnatural about fear yet so many people live it everyday of their lives.
There is something unnatural about always wanting more and not being satisfied with what you have.
There is something unnatural about being afraid of sacrificing to get what you want.
There is something unnatural about not wanting to be loved or hugged or kissed or touched, it is the greatest sadness i think anyone can experience.
There is something unnatural about having to pay to get health care.
There is something unnatural about wanting everything handed to you on a silver platter.
There is something unnatural in organized religion.
There is something unnatural about the world we live in, yet we close our eyes and pretend...that everything is A OK!