Bestest Besties...Diary of a BFF whore:)

My sisters best friend once said, "If Jeannette ever murders anyone I will be scolding her and telling her how wrong she was as Im driving her to the border to freedom"

Now that is a best friend!...Someone who can tell you, that you are wrong while still encouraging you and supporting you. I recently had someone claim to be my best friend in one sentence and in the other do everything in their power to hurt my feelings. I put up with this for a couple of months in an effort to be a forgiving and understanding bestie.

The day finally came when this person hit so low that I could forgive but not forget. When someone hurts you intentionally there is nothing they could ever say to erase the putrid feeling that they caused in the moment they spewed their vicious words.

I feel sorry for people who spew hate in moments of anger and expect others to forgive them just as quickly. Its like someone famous once said, "people will forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel." That is the key. Whether you meant what you said or not, whether you were sorry or not, the imprint of your words does not fade as fast as your anger.

I hope that by witholding my friendship towards this person they learn to treat those they love with more respect. Choose their words wisely and think twice before they decide to be hurtful. I hope in the end what I did benefits my once bestie for the better even if she continues to spread lies out of anger it doesn't bother me.

The good news is, that like beyonce says "for every person that hates me there are 100 more that love me and I love them"...My experience with the defective bestie made me appreciate those men and women who do deserve the title of bestie, who have earned my love and respect and who I try to tell everyday!

To All my Besties with LOVE!...I may not tell you everyday but I carry all of you in my heart!

Sky Diving is like Dying.

Ok, so the day that I woke up to go sky diving I was soooo nervous. The thought of jumping out of a plane sent me to the bathroom three times and kept my hands extremely moist throughout the day. I even thought of backing out for a split second. Then, I realized if I didn't do it I would always regret it. So I made a decision. I would do what I always do during difficult or stressful times, I wouldn't think about it.

I decided to just get dressed, then I just went to the store to get champagne, after that I was just driving. My whole day continued like this. Just a series of extraordinary moments and everytime I would get the thought of impending doom I would just focus back on the present.

Ok, now back to my original point. How is this like death? Well, everyone of us knows we are going to die but we don't think about it. Then, the day finally comes when death is at the door. We know its close. Again, the "thought" of it could send us to the bathroom lk 20 times and keep 100 peoples hands moist for 20 years. With sky diving your thinking "what if the shoot doesn't open?, what if the clips that are holding me to the guy with the shoot snap, what if it hurts???"...When a person is close to death, they think, "what if it hurts, will my family be ok, Im not ready..."

Ok, so now it's time to jump out of the plane, how did you get 13,000 feet in front of an open door? Easy, you just kept putting one foot in front of the other. When the moment finally comes, I swear to you, you don't even remember jumping. You are just free, at peace, filled with happines,exhilaration, adrenaline, calm. I imagine this is what dying is like.

With sky diving there is a strong attachment to the ground, and in death there is a strong attachment to the living. In both cases, if you can release the attachments you open yourself up for an amazing opportunithy for growth and change.

One day you just die. Will you be the person who fought anxiously every step of the way? Or will you just suck it up, enjoy the present, plant one foot confidently in front of the other, jump and enjoy the ride? I hope that like in skydiving when the time comes for me to go I can just jump with my eyes and heart wide open knowing I enjoyed every moment, kiss, touch, sound, hug and tear.

-to my mama bear who has taught me how to LIVE...and who makes every hug the best;)

Ladies PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU!...Do yourself a favor and "Unstick yourself from Stupid"

OMG, to many of my friends are "Stuck on Stupid". They are in love or pining over men who don't deserve it,men who have moved on and don't think about them at all. Today my bestie confessed that she is finally over her ex. They have been broken up for 7 YEARS,7 YEARS! hes practically engaged with a girl who couldn't hold a candle to my bestie and my bestie is barely getting over it?...Que? Como?

How do super awesome women get stuck on stupids? You know the guy with no car, no job but a smile that could melt your heart, the guy who can't even afford to buy you dinner but manages to run away with your soul. Now don't get me wrong I have nothing against losers, Ive had my share, but if the guy is a loser and isn't even giving you what you need emotionally...MOVE ON!. Don't waste the pretty, Don't waste the hot tits and ass, don't waste your youth on a man who doesn't deserve it!

Your probably saying, "easier said than done, Im not that hot, Im not that smart, Im lucky I got the loser, This man touched me, No one gets me like he does"..WRONG!. Every woman no matter how hideoous deserves to be loved properly and will be loved properly if they can only learn to accept they deserve it. I believe that if you really want something you will get it.

If you believe in God, ponder this, why would he or she put you on this earth to be lonely. The problem with people today is they don't have enough faith in good, everyone jumps straight to the negative. So, here's my advice, open your heart, open your mind, stop thinking you were'nt good enough for him, because honey, it was he who was not good enough for you thats why he's with a girl who's a loser just like he is. You know the old saying is true. Birds of a feather flock together. Maybe the problem was you, you were so magnificent you outshined him. He was blinded by your fantasticness, it bruised his ego and his insecurities overpowered him and he settled for the simple girl to complete his simple life of beers, games and montony.He found the "Marge" to his "Homer", now you get out there and get the "Brad" to your "Angelina"

So ladies, I hope this helps you find the beauty in yourself, live your life, figure out what makes you happy without a mate. Do you, put yourself out there and the right guy will come. Trust me one day when its all said and done you will find yourself walking by the guy who once made your heart leap out of your chest and your only thought will be..."Damn He Got Fat!".:)

Falling in Love....with Oakland and myself.

Ok, Ok, ok, so looks like the perfect guy just isnt out there, or maybe im not a normal girl. The investment banker, to clingy, and the sound of his voice made me wanna puke, The efficiency expert,too handsome, smart sweet, to good to be true, The Doctor.,great entertainment center and killer house but I just cant see myself drinking soy nut shakes for the rest of my life.

In the last 6 months I've dated most women's idea of the dream catch..and I all I seem to do is throw these poor bastards back in the water. So, Ive decided to date myself. Less stress, no awkward its not you its me conversations, and I can always make myself cumm. Only downfall, is now I have to buy my own dinners, wamp, wamp, wamp.

Today, I woke up and decided to go for a walk around the lake, at the lake I saw the farmers market and decided to explore. There are so many awesome booths to explore. my favorite was the holistic booth with all the herbs. I would. Bought some bitter root elixir crap supposed to be good for my nerves and my sleep, both havent been very good lately.

After farmers market stopped by sacred well a cool metaphysics shop, had a great convo w/ a hippie artist and made a wish baggie for my mama bear. Lit a candle said a prayer and learned more about the universe and myself.

Once I was done curing my insomnia and mom I was off to row a boat at the lakehouse...Once in the boat, I quickly learned I dont know how to row, so I taught myself. Had the best most relaxing time. When I returned,I was informed I was rowing backward the whole time. I would.

Finally, after hours of walking, rowing, curing, and pretty much exauhsting myself
I decided to walk home...but of course on the walk home I run into a cuban salsa dance party in middle of lake so I decided to stick around and enjoy music and watch the dancing, picked up a flyer and will be taking lessons on Tuesday.

Ok, now, I was finally ready to go home, but wait oh wait i'm starving and there is an organic Ice Cream truck!...WHO KNEW!?...so I stopped again and bought an organic strawberry pop. Only in Oakland, can u get hippies in a truck selling you 3 dollar Ice Cream, and you will be more than happy ecstatic in fact to buy it.

Now, finally time for me to finish my walk home so I continue down the lake towards Park and E22nd. On the way home my lover, "Oakland" continues to be the best boyfriend yet and so good for my self esteem...On the walk home all I hear is, "Damn girl you fine", "Damn","Will you marry me" and my favorite "I love those big ol'titties".Yes, I love Oakland and Oakland LOVES me;)