Only in Oakland are crackheads actively recruited as part of your local neighborhood watch.
Only in Oakland do you get hit on regularly by Asian guys.
Only in Oakland will you see two guys drunk in a tree debating politics.
Only in Oakland can you walk to work and see a magnificent lake and a magnificent pile of puke all within the same 40 minutes.
Only in Oakland do you see a crew of ducks led by one bad ass white duck with a fro and black and purple spots.
Only in Oakland can you get hit on by a drunk midget on a scooter.
Only in Oakland can you tell off your boss and not get fired.
Only in Oakland will you not get mocked for loving a football team that sucks harder than Jenna Jamison.
Only in Oakland can you start a riot just to steal shoes and weed
Only in Oakland can you run reds, speed, talk on your cell phone and race your car in front of a cop and not get pulled over.
Only in Oakland will a robber be thoughtful enough to lock up your car and roll up your windows after he steals your IPOD.
Only in Oakland can you truly escape into the present.
“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”
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